How do I begin to tell you how I feel inside
When I know you're just here for the show?
Don't you think I know
That you just want to feel a beat
And you can't hear a word I say?
How d'you live that way? - 'Stage' Matt Mairs

How did my life get so perfect? I was half an hour late for the film so it started half an hour late. She's a cute girl but I don't want a girl, she seems perfectly uninterested. I enjoy looking, I have plenty to look at. People are nice to me despite the fact that I am not. I have enough put away to deal with getting laid off. I hope. My loneliness is ameliorated by V's friendship and hanging out on alt. All good. Happy and shiny.

The album is great. I want to redo the 'Sinking Ship' vocals and put one on 'Running', but otherwise it's fantastic. Representative of my work in a great way. Perfect; I'm not taking the best care of myself, hope to last a while longer but that's a fine thing to leave.

Let's see if I can't get another album done with E, B and S too. Maybe I'm winding up to shuffle off this mortal coil. Or maybe I'm just preparing to leave Merka. Go knows I'm willing. Might even find a girl.

It's all performance. People buy it. Did that guy think he was insulting my coat? I'm actually not a _Matrix_ fan. Haven't even seen the second one yet, plans of such are unimportant to me. I like trenchcoats. I make'm look good. Leather especially. Don't compare me to some overpriced Hollywood trash featuring one of the worst actors ever, OK? Thanks. I'm putting on a show for you, but it is the Matthew Mairs show and any resemblance to anyone else living or dead, other than my parents and every person that I have ever interacted with is purely coincidental.

05242003