I have been falling apart for as long as I can remember. And that is good. As I look back along this road that I have passed, look back at all the pieces of myself laying on the path I have hope. To lose more. To lose everything. Perhaps when I make it to the end I will have nothing. Then I will be light.
Is is a good idea that a man obsessed with sinking ships sail around the world in a 35' boat? Maybe. When I am slightly tipsy I am a very good driver. I don't trust my reflexes, I allow a large margin of error, I am very careful. I think that I would be as careful, even more so on a boat. And really getting away, really leaving it all behind, now that appeals!
I tell you nothing here. I am saving it up for something, or I care about it too much to share with people that I do not know, who do not want me to know them. How silly, yes? You come here to learn about me and I bite my tongue. Actually, there are an inconceivable number of my parts strewn about this site. No, I have not organized it well. But it's all here. I'll tell you more.
I went back to the town that killed my brother, the town where my marriage died, the town where my best friends are either dead or full of hate because of the lies they believe about me. I found an old best friend. I went to record an album with him. He did all the work. Because our drummer had no respect for us, because the ringer I found couldn't quite master the material in time, he drummed. Well. And played the guitar. Flawlessly. And did most of the engineering. Beautifully. It is a fantastic album. I hate to give it away because I feel that that would somehow show disrespect for the work. But I do want to share it and I know it's too far out to sell well. Conundrums. How would you like to feel like that? How would you like to be me? Ready to lose?