There appear to be wild dogs in Prospect Park. On our evening walk we watched three unleashed, unaccompanied pups run by the lake. No one followed, no one led. Not to say they hadn't run off recently or that their masters weren't around somewhere, but it was fun to see and neat to think about. Our little wilderness in the middle of what I told M. was the digestive pit in the belly of the beast.
I'm going down to play with him and T. now. I'm going down to see my parents again. Twice in a month, now there's an oddity for our recent history. I'm glad her MS is arrested and that he shows no sign of cancer. I stayed in Tucson partly out of inertia, partly to stay near them, partly for many other reasons. But I've found good inertia moving, their health is fine and all those other reasons fell away or became poisonous. NYC may be becoming poisonous. I don't deal with heartbreak well. I never really heal. Just live on, scarred and smiling.
I'm going down to the town where my friend was murdered, where my singer was murdered, where my brother was murdered. Tucson is pretty tough for a little dirt patch in the middle of nowhere. The developers may be ruining it, but my nihilistic bent says that everybody is ruining everything. M. has a lot of hope, hence a lot of kindness and definitely much more idea about right and wrong. Just about everything seems wrong to me.
That's alright. We actually aren't here to have fun. You can go all the way past Thanksgiving in this treatise and still not know what I saw here. I'll make it quick. I saw a man slashed on the train. I saw the car floor coated with blood.
Entire families were destroyed by cluster bombs. Pieces of their bodies littered the ruined streets. And you might call them lucky compared to the ones who survived destroyed, or who lost their families and have to go on. The human condition is anything but funny and if I don't find something to laugh at I will go stark raving mad. Too late?
I may not update this much while I'm there. The forum will certainly be more convenient. We'll see.