Ow. I hate Wednesday workouts. But I like being able to move whatever I want to where I want it so o well.
My petty pains are so inconsequential these days. My engagement is off, so what, at least we didn't get married. My dear friend M. is undergoing his first divorce now. Pray that it be his last. Spirit knows that I shall not enter into such a union again myself with any possibility of failure. The emotional cost is prohibitive. Do you think such a resoluition impossible? I think it means that it is likely that I shall not marry again, if so, very likely not an Merkin and extremely likely, to the point of mathematical certainty (which does allow for infinitismal margins of error in case you have trouble with the definition; I did not say absolute certainty) a New Yorker.
Who cares? Legitimate question, that. Why are you bothering to read my diary? Why am I publishing it? There is a human need to connect at some level, to see how others deal with the pain of existance and to try to explain. It is your voyeuristic need to live vicariously through my misdeeds, which are mostly witheld, I apologize, for fear of professional reprisal. And it is my exhibitionist need to show off. Look at what I can do!
I am going to go record an album with M. and T. soon. It will be incredibly good, so good it will not be appreciated until decades after we pass. The music I have done that was appreciated was crap. C'est la vie.
What else can I do? Well, it's long past time I shared what I do for a living in greater detail, because I can barely understand it sometimes and I will find this enjoyable reading when I can no longer understand what I have done at all. Data: PBJ for breakfast, standard morning rituals, Tibetan Chili Chicken for lunch (I screwed up and took too much change confusing the party for minutes), I think I'll make Carbonara for dinner. Now working out to the point of pain. What did I build today?
Today I created alias directories for the medical information database that I've been installing since last week. Netscape Enterprise Server calls them 'Alternate Content Directories'. Whatever, dude, they're aliases. I had the robot label (format) tapes for the backup cloning process. I troubleshot the ongoing horror that is our QIP DHCP failover problem. All the steps involved, jeez, I need to write an outline just so I can follow it. I upgraded the daemon. I enabled debugging, which I had been pushing back against doing; this is a production service for a hospital: I should be creating performance bottlenecks? Well, yours truly is an idiot for more than not wanting to marry a contentious person my friends, of course since the service isn't working in this context what harm am I doing by adversely impacting performance? Wow, it's worse than zero, man. Yeah, OK, debugging on. Trying to keep up with my email all day. Finding out my pager has been in some kind of zombie state for the last day and a half. Getting batteries. Attending the QIP meeting, taking god-knows-how-old coffee from the meeting room carafe. Taking the evening commute with S., he trains it all the way like I used to, doesn't like buses, doesn't have an unlimited but I'll win him over to the dark side just watch, I always do. This week I'm secondary on-call which explains the importance of the pager if anyone has any idea what I'm talking about. And that, my friends, is a slice of the life of a geek's geek. I will document it further. I have taken for granted that I can do this, so can anyone. Maybe not, and maybe by examining it a little closer we can appreciate that.
S. and I talked Iraq. And so yes, any of my pain is inconsequential.