Oopsie daisy, think I just discarded a paragraph from yesterday. Say la vee. I'm sure it wasn't that great. We'll never know, will we?
The problem, if there is one, is that I prefer living to writing. Oh the tales I could tell. Seriously. MTV, narrowly not getting brained by cops, nights with the Huichol offshoot of the NAC, outrageous fortune I assure you. More fun to do than tell you about. Maybe I have to commoditize it. Hey, I have a paypal account... maybe I should start begging? The discipline to complete this pile of novels eludes me. Ever track the blog back? At least a novel here. Too bad it's so repetitious and the protagonist is too crazy to empathize with, eh? Thank cod for smelly blunders.
Today was lovely. Up at six something, the kids, the cows, the chickens... generally I stay abed 'til eight but in some cases exceptions. Chicken had heated the water for coffee(ish substance). I had not chilled the soda for juicy juice. In gact the mango was near empty so I had to switch to unrefrigerated guava. Tragic, simply. Juice is made in stages though, the amount of soda and hi-test exceeds the volume of a juice glass considerable. So unused soda and guava sat in freezer and fridge respectively. My juice got colder as I drank it. Chicken had made phak (vegetables) and khaaw (rice). I ate a little veggies but I ritualize ahaan chaw (breakfast) ala farang. PBJ today. Round bread. Some German thing. Slightly burned, I insist more on timespan than perfection of golden browning. Evidently I bought smooth PB. I think my greatest life-skill is not paying attention. How miserable can I be if it doesn't register? Mai penrai (no biggie), spreads easier. Tastes like peanuts if no crunchies, sao mak (so sad). Two cups of Joe's distant cousin, as per use you all. The three S's and off two school. My meditation is mostly of the motorcycular variety these days. Be here now or go to the hospital soon. Works for me. The hiway has two detours ATM. Heading South to North as I do in the mornings the first is the dirst mess where I almost got myself cruched Monday. No such excitement today. Of course that was in the afternoon so read on, maybe I manage later... or did I already spoil the suspense? School five minutes early, time for a fag. Farang lady by the ashtray, mai penrai, finish up reach. Our vocabularies are prodigous these days. Thousands of words. But we are not well understood by native speakers. Idiom my friends, idiom. That's a fact. Wait and see. Are you even conscious of it? I'm getting there. Never mind our idioms are broken, we don't know their's. Don't even really know the grammar. Two, three word sentences, we get by. Heh heh. Today we learn a little grammar. Freakin martian if I may say so. Hour of that, ten minutes to read the paper, re-up the nic (strictly for that point of IQ doncha know) and another hour of climbing the communication wall. Then follow Keuene (you, mr. or ms. depending on context) Roger home to see where it is, we're visitin' tomorrow. I suggest the back way to avoid the right turn which is stupid I realize as now we have to go straight across traffic but it works out well because on the back way a chopper following a bicycle is less of a travail. Nice house. -Need's work, says Roger, of course, what doesn't? Why are we here? Then by the bank. Chicken's misbehavior is serious. Things are just things, this is great practice for non-attachment but she has to come in to get her name off the safe. What was I thinking? Mai penrai, just things, take care of it later. Then back to the hiway. Detours in reverse, no, no passing a semi and slipping in the mud today, thanks for asking. Home again home again, jiggedy jig. Mornings get to the freeway by going north, afternoons come back from the freeway by heading north. Non-euclidian? Readers of the letters (you out there Jean?) may recall something about pteradactyls. In full effect nai (in) Sankumpeang, yo! Wait 'til the evening's endurofest. Chicken has made Kang (curry) something or other kai (chicken). I'd call it kang panang but I'm sure she'd correct me. And I wuddna remember the correction my head's so full of vocab and grammar as it is, no point. Mai penrai. Chicken has found the missing watches. The problem, if there is one, is that detail is infinite. What else didna I tell you about the morning? She is proud. I try not to spoil it too much talking about the bank, I'm glad she found them. Of course it was something I was planning on doing but give the people their pride. If it's what they want. I think she does. I want to play a little civ and take a nap. She is tit torathat (stuck to the TV). When I toddle off she's headed for the latest funeral. I'll go when the monks go, she knows. Probably tomorrow. Nappypoo, does nobody care that you took a nap? Palestinians (ok, obscure obscure obscure, whaddaya expect from me?). Toss and turn, it's hot, drool a bit so must be out sometime, wake for dusk ride. I want to find a gas station via dirt roads. Chok dee (good luck). The roads were planned by dinosaurs but the dirt roads were not planned by anything. The main one follows a river. I have explored many tributaries. Today I take one not because it goes the right direction (the opposite in fact) but because I suspect I'm going to close to the hiway and if I hit it I'll just take it. Enduro medidation is a cut above. Last night I sat with a couple of buddhas and they challenged me with ants and mosquitoes. Enduro is a little more physical. Lose concentration and get kicked in the balls. Then there's the dirst that was mud and is now hardened into a ridge that happily directs you into the water or the trees. WAKE UP! Pass a nice lady doing something, I'm basically on her private drive at this point, other cultures might react differently. She smiles. I come out on a lesser hiway. The one I take to the river to avoid the market. I would have dome better to stay on the main dirt road, I'm passing it soon. Effort wasted you might say, I am now going by tar on a path I know very well. Being the disagreeable sort I disagree of course, I know not to try that way again. At least not for this. Through downtown Sankumpaeng mai mii kracok (without mirrors). Not meditative. Enduro feels that mirrors are a waste of time. Probably true, the weight might actually make a small difference on this ridiculously high performance 125. Not to mention dirt bike wrecks are not places where flying glass is so welcome. So I really prefer the dirt. Also enduro she does not like to stop so much, mai. Only stalls once, I'm getting the hang. And nobody beeps, I'm head-checking often enough. Esso, fill the lil tank, get a half-quart of two-stroke, back through the hell realm. Time to see if I can find the dirt from this direction. Chok dee. Take the left at the Y. Theoretically this will drop me across from the river at the big sign on the first piece of tarmac I told you about. Follow a tractor for a while, let all the motos with benefit of mirrors pass before I kick it. I don't know how far that intersection should be, not that enduro has an odo to tell me if I did, but I ain't feeling it. Take the next right, can't go far that way without hitting something I know, basically West. Cross a river but it's frontage is unfamiliar and pretty impassable. Press on, regardless. Here's the river with the red dirt roads I've come to know and love. Hang a left, that's South right. Hahahahaha and ha! The pteradactyls got lost and starved out here. I see the sign for my buddha friends. I am going North. Left from West is North. Welcome to my world. Home to Chicken and phak and a lil big-sister meanness from Kit and a little jai dtaek (spoiledness) from Kem. Do what I can. Let the phenomena play. My parents were not, I think, what you would call disciplinarians. Nor am I. But no, Kem cannot have my chair. Scene, imagine I can't describe. Why is Kit disrespectful to her teachers? Kai is a wonderful mom if you are her kids. Sometimes I worry for the rest of the world. Can I? Should I? Luckily it really isn't for me to decide. When Kit acts disrespectful I act disrespectful. When Kem screams I scream. Shocking, simply shocking. Whenever will I learn to kep naa (save face)? Next lifetime perhaps. Right now I see changes I would call positive in the kids, but what is positive really? Most men here are what I would consider jai dtaek. But cause and effect are not understood? Something I can learn from that? In fact interactions are so infinitely complex cause and effect are what you make them. But I like the effect I believe I am having. Didn't see Paa today, which is too bad because he's pretty jai dii (good hearted). Maybe tomorrow as it be.

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